No, i did not want to be accepted for National Service.
Why, God? What's Your plan?
but God.. what about my plans? what about everything that i had in mind? what about my undecided future? is this why You want me to go for NS? remember the time i said i wanted a break from everything and just to isolate myself for a while? is this part of that? did i actually sign myself up for this? is this the break i've wanted? possibly. trying to be optimistic here. but what would NS make of me? will it make me a better person? isn't it just a waste of time? or do You want me to do Your works there, God? maybe it's like some calling? God, are you wanting me to share the gospel among my new friends that i make there? i know there will come a day when i will have to decide if i were to enrol myself for this or not. should i? should i not? why should i? but on the other hand.. why not?
but.. why? i just can't comprehend this..
but i know.. that no matter what happens.. that i'll always have faith.. i know You love me and that You have a reason behind all this hoo-haa this evening. i know that there was a reason why i didn't cry when i found out i got ns. well, i don't know. maybe the fact that i really got it hasn't sunk in yet. both my friends who were on the phone with me screamed and wailed when they found out they got it. and i actually checked and delivered the news to a few of my other friends. but i only teared for 1 minute, tops. and then i got over it. am i really that strong? or is it You inside of me that's holding me together?
p.s/ you can say whatever you want to whoever you want. but please try to be considerate and don't say anything at all if you've got nothing nice to say. thank you.
God, help me distract myself from this news. for now..
2 comments:
Maybe it is God's plan that you go?im not saying it cause i didnt get chosen(i didn't get chosen..lol)..but maybe itz in His blueprint, you never know..
dun wry la, u'll do great!!ure my twin!!i tahan lasak..u tahan lasak..
tho i got bad news to break to you..i cant tahan lasak..lolol..dun wry la..haha
i hope i have a special privilege over ur p.s/..lol..like i said..TWIN MARR
TWINNN!! <3
thanks for the support. means alot to me.
no no i pun tak tahan lasak. mental tak kuat langsung. physical's just fine. but it's all in the mind too ler.. sigh. tak mau pi le bro! :(
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